


is it enough for you?

by scorchion



Series: Mutualistic Symbiosis [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Existentialism, Fluff, M/M, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorchion/pseuds/scorchion
Summary: “So what if we're tiny, inconsequential beings on this little, itty bitty planet in this unimportant galaxy in this big, vast universe that doesn't care about us?”Koutarou turns to look Keiji directly in the eye, “I care about you, and that's enough for me. Is it enough for you?"
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Mutualistic Symbiosis [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921216
Kudos: 21





	is it enough for you?

Crickets chip out happy little tunes, their melodies accompanied by the soft rustling of the leaves in the wind. The grass tickles the back of his neck, the palms of his hands, and the slivers of skin on his ankles that his pants don't quite cover. Next to him, he hears the shuffling of fabric as Koutarou raises a hand to point up at the twinkling night sky. 

He points at a particularly bright dot, “What's that one, Keiji?”

Keiji turns to look at him, drinking in the way the starlight kisses Koutarou's cheeks before bringing his own hand up to the sky, covering the dot and pretending to grab it, "That one's Mars. If you really look at it, you can see that it has a slightly reddish hue."

He feels Koutarou's eyes on him and turns to look at him again, his face is painted with a gentle sort of awe, "You're so amazing Keiji, so smart and intelligent and cool."

Keiji's lips curl into a soft smile, "Thank you."

Koutarou returns the smile, then resumes looking at the expanse of sky above them. 

Today is an irregular day: Keiji's not working and he's not in Tokyo. Earlier this week, his boss caught him nodding off while in the midst of editing a spread. He was sure that he would be fired or suffer a pay cut, but instead, he was told to take the next few days off. 

Keiji tried, to no avail, to insist on taking a few overtime shifts since he had been caught slacking. On Friday, she even physically pushed him out of the building despite his protests of “what about my artists, I can’t just leave them,” saying that she would handle them herself if any problems arose. 

When Keiji tried to enter the building several times after the initial push, his boss only shoved out again. It got to the point where she asked reception to station a security guard to watch him and bar him from entering. The new company deemed his endeavors futile, so Keiji resigned himself to follow his boss’s orders and wait outside. Eventually. he saw Koutarou's beat-up pickup truck pull up to the curb.

Koutarou had purchased the truck a few years ago after seeing it for sale in a school parking lot. When Keiji had first seen the thing, he tried to urge Koutarou to get rid of it and just get a new car, but he wouldn’t budge, claiming that it had a certain sort of charm to it; if charm could be considered concerning noises whenever you’re driving on the highway, in the rain, or over a speed bump.

Today is an odd day, but a nice day: stargazing together in Osaka, something they don’t get to do very often. For a moment or two, they lay together in comfortable silence, listening to the crickets’ peaceful symphony and feeling the breeze ghost over their skin. 

After a bit of time, Koutarou’s voice tickles Keiji’s ears, “It’s amazing how many stars are up there.” 

“Yeah, it’s really fascinating how vast this universe is.” 

"What do you think about the universe, Keiji?"

"What do I think?"

"Mhm."

Keiji claps his hands and puts them together on his stomach, “Well, there's a lot to be said... I mean, we live on this tiny rock in this tiny, little solar system in this tiny galaxy in this very big universe that our brains can't even comprehend the size of.

“When you think about it like that—as us being tiny, insignificant beings on a tiny, insignificant planet—existence is pointless. Our little, tiny emotions and needs don't really matter all that much. Nothing matters, but at the same time, everything matters.”

Suddenly, the grass brushing against the back of his neck and at his ankles isn’t all that pleasant and he's painfully aware of the possibility of bugs crawling around him and the lumpiness of the earth he's laying on. 

With all of that in mind, Keiji sits up, brushes himself off, pulls the cuffs of his pants down, and puts his arms behind him to prop himself up.

He briefly glances at Koutarou before focusing on the sky again, a cloud floats in front of the moon, “Sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I?”

Nothing is said for a short while, Koutarou's eyes bore holes into the side of Keiji's head.

“Insignificant? Pointless? Nothing matters?”

Keiji laughs self-consciously, “I know, I know. that's not true, but I just...think about that kind of thing a lot.”

"Why did you sit up?"

"Hm? Oh, well, the grass was bothering me. Itchy."

"Let's move, then."

Koutarou stands up, walking to the pickup truck. He digs around in the truck for a bit, before pulling out some blankets and setting them up in the truck bed. After fluffing them up, Koutarou gestures for Keiji to get in; he obliges. 

The blankets are pillowy and soft underneath his body and the smell of laundry detergent tickles his nose. Keiji sighs in contentment as Koutarou clambers in next to him, "How's this?"

"Much better, thank you."

Koutarou shoots him a smile, “See? Everything, no matter how little, matters. I know that you don't mean everything that you said, but I just want you to know that things do matter. You matter to me.” 

A beat.

“And don't say things are pointless because if things are pointless, then I'm pointless. We're pointless."

"That's not—"

"I know, I know, but just...just listen. It doesn't matter if nothing matters because then you can define what matters for yourself.”

Keiji turns to look at Koutarou, who’s sitting cross-legged and picking at the pilled fabric of the blanket below him. 

“So what if we're tiny, inconsequential beings on this little, itty bitty planet in this unimportant galaxy in this big, vast universe that doesn't care about us?”

Koutarou turns to look Keiji directly in the eye, “I care about you, and that's enough for me. Is it enough for you?"

Amber eyes look evenly into Keiji’s turquoise ones, the intensity in Koutarou’s gaze makes Keiji’s eyes drop to Koutarou’s hands, which are fidgeting with the silver ring on his ring finger. It’s rare to see him actually wear the ring since he can’t wear jewelry on the court. 

Keiji feels a swell of warmth in his chest and twists the matching ring on his own finger, rolling Koutarou’s question around in his head. Does it really matter that nothing matters? Does being unimportant in the grand scheme of things really mean all that much to him?

Not really. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re more than enough for me.” 

A wide grin spreads across Koutarou’s face, contagious enough to spread to Keiji's. He reaches down for Keiji’s hand, squeezing once their fingers are interlaced.

He presses his lips against Keiji’s gently, warmly, "I love you, Keiji."

"I love you too, Koutarou."

**Author's Note:**

> Adapted from a (now deleted) thread fic from my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/scorchions). Come say hi if you have a minute or two. :)


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